HERE I AM What I am is so fleeting and intangible. What I was is fixed and final. What I will be in the future I don't know. I am more closely identified with the past than with what actually is. I am so much more than what I can represent to myself in words, or in other signs. Communication rests upon all kinds of agreements on valuation of actions and things. It is a system of abstractions. Abstractions and signs are like a cup. They reduce experience to units simple enough to comprehend one at a time. Trying to understand Life in terms of words and concepts is like trying to drink water with a fork instead of a cup. I need to experience Life directly, instead of through abstract thought. For some reason I do not trust and do not fully use my felt sense and direct knowing. I need liberation from the bounds of conventional thought and conduct. I forced my original spontaneity into rigid rules of convention. It involved conflict and pain, and the loss of my quiet joy. To be free from convention is to not be deceived by it. It is to use it as an instrument instead of being used by it. Life must never be confused with the abstract. Note: The felt sense is a physically sensed knowing. The body knows the whole of each of situation, vastly more aspects of it than you can think. See Eugene Gendlin, Focusing, pp.vii-viii.