Listening deeply

It is always challenging to handle objections and conflicting viewpoints in circle. The circle can easily slip into a situation where people try to talk each other into, or out of, some opinion. It is easy to forget that the aim is not to reach consensus, or to persuade anyone of anything, but to honor and protect each person’s equivalence, identity and integrity. When people speak trying to get leverage on each other, it is nearly impossible to listen receptively. We listen, busily filtering, embracing or rejecting what we hear. If we instead attend fully to whatever is being said, knowing that people are making an honest effort to express themselves, the speakers themselves start to trust that they are being heard. And when we learn how to listen more deeply to others, we can listen more deeply to ourselves. Whether you find yourself drawn to or repelled by a viewpoint, simply take note and reflect on it. You may discover that you have something important to learn.

Reference: Parker J. Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward An Undivided Life, pp. 99—100, 120, & 169.